OK, true confessions.  I promised accurate and fully informed coverage on this city-girl meets farm life adventure so here’s a little backstory on yesterday.

“You don’t happen to know why Chickens loose their tail feathers leaving a disgusting red rash that sort of looks like a chewed cob of corn?!!?  NO?  ME EITHER!!!!  And I’ve only been here for a little over an hour!  Sheesh!”

eeewwww

This email went out, along with several calm yet insistent phone calls, immediate after I first surveyed my brood.  Really, it’s disgusting.

see what I mean?  This farm sit is not for the feint of heart.  Before I called the chicken health hot-line I decided to introduce myself to the neighbors figuring – hey, they probably have chickens too, doesn’t everyone out here?

So Phoebe and I wandered across the lane and down a long driveway to “the Old Parsons Place” (at least that’s what the big sign said) in the pouring rain and introduced ourselves.  Unfortunately, a rather unsavory dingo-looking dog attached himself to our party and crashed our neighborly meeting.  Beyond the bad manners of arriving unannounced (the dingo dog – not me), he ate all the cat’s food and rudely poked his nose about.  So much for first impressions; me showing up with the neighborhood thug.  All he needed was a do-rag and colors!

Anyway, sure enough, the neighbors have chickens too…and a herd of black angus cows!!!  I learned a couple of valuable life lessons.  Apparently “pecking order” is just that…in the absence of a rooster, chickens will peck at each other to establish dominance.  My baldies are on the loosing end of chicken coop popularity – sort of like a daily Slushee facial (arbitrary GLEE reference – my new favorite TV show…have I mentioned there’s no TV on this farm?)

The neighbors also had huge – no, really, really, huge -  vegetable gardens – 3 of ‘em!!!!  Rows of cabbages and kale were all that remained of the crops but I couldn’t help but notice that the largest garden was not fenced against deer.  Even newbie that I am, I know EVERYTHING must be fenced against deer.  It turns out that a herd of grass-fed black Angus is an effective deer repellent; especially if the herd is raising their young.  There was a baby calf – less than 24 hours old.  Woe to any creature, human or even bird that dares to approach the pasture.  I got a look at the little one from a safe distance and I’d just like to point out that even baby calves are huge!  All you out there with chronic deer browsing issues?  Get a herd of black Angus!

Enough.  It’s sunny and beautiful outside.  I’ve fed the chickens, kibbled the pampered poodle and had a fortifying breakfast of fresh eggs and bacon…I could get used to this!  Phoebe and I are off to explore the bluffs and soak up some vitamin D.